GleeCap: “Britney 2.0″

This week, Glee ran out of new ideas, so they started going through old episodes to find things to reuse.

Last night’s episode of Glee opens with Brittany talking about the great things that are going to happen during her (second) senior year, of course she thought it was a voiceover, but turns out she was talking out loud.  Somehow, this leads to the Cheerios and her performing “Hold It Against Me” by Britney Spears.  Sue, as always, expresses her hatred for it (seriously, nothing impresses this woman) and has a “serious chat” with Brittany about her “record-breaking GPA” and kicks her off the Cheerios.  Because glee club is a family, Will decides to beat a dead horse and dedicate all of this week’s songs to Britney Spears in order to help Brittany S. Pierce find her confidence again after being kicked off the Cheerios.  Kicking off the week, Blaine and Artie sing some strange mash-up of “Boyfriend” by Justin Bieber… which makes no sense to me whatsoever.

     

Over in the Big Apple, Rachel’s washed-up Broadway wannabe dance teacher tells Rachel she can’t practice the tango in class because she doesn’t have enough sex appeal.  Granted, Rachel does dress like a life sized American Girl doll, but you know, the teacher should still allow her to participate in class…  So Rachel starts pouting and asking everyone she knows if she’s sexy or not.  When she asks Kurt, he shows Rachel a YouTube clip from ten years ago (despite the fact that YouTube was invented in 2005 and cell phones didn’t  really have cameras until about seven or eight years ago) where her dance teacher blows up on stage because someone’s cell phone went off during her performance and ruined her career.  Tell me again why Rachel, Ms. “ALL I’VE EVER WANTED WAS TO BE ON BROADWAY”, had no idea about this?  Either way, Ignorant Berry asks Brody to dance with her to prove to her teacher she’s sexy and of course he agrees because for some reason he thinks the 12 year old girl/librarian thing is cute. (Bonus to whichever writer wrote this episode for using the word sexy an uncomfortable amount of times)

Marley likes Jake, he’s a Womanizer (insert performance of “Womanizer” here), big surprise.

Brittany attempts to shave her hair off during a performance of “Three” and literally reenacting Britney’s downfall over the span of about two minutes, complete with paparazzi beating right down to the green umbrella.

Mr Schue confronts Jake about his lack of presence in his classes, to which Jake responds with a (not so polite) “no thanks” and scurries off to hang out at school and do nothing while everyone else is in class…  Later, he performs “You Drive Me Crazy” with Marley and they have ~a moment~.  He gives her his jacket, because apparently it’s freezing cold in September, and they almost kiss.

For some reason the glee club thought it would be a great idea to give emotionally unstable Brittany the lead vocalist spot at the upcoming assembly (did none of them remember what happened last time they performed at an assembly?).  She decides that she’s not up to performing live because she’s lost her voice from yelling at the shrubs in her front yard, so Brittany suggests lip-syncing for the performance.  Like a bunch of idiots, they all agree and obviously it ends badly for them.  Will freaks out and tells them that if the National Show Choir something-or-other gets wind of the incident they could be barred from performing competitively.

Rachel performs “Oops, I Did It Again” to prove she’s sexy.  To me, it seemed more like the director/writers/Ryan Murphy said, “Hey Lea, just go out there and act like your over sexualized and sometimes borderline skanky self instead of that uptight Rachel gal”.  Her teacher still isn’t impressed, Rachel lashes out, and is kicked out of class.  Later, Rachel apologizes to her and is let back into the class,  whilst having an awkward semi-lesbian moment of staring at her butt.

After getting into a fight, Jake is pulled into the choir room by Mr. Schue and officially introduced to NOAH PUCKERMAN!  Apparently he left whatever he was doing in L.A. to come all the way back to Lima and straighten out his half brother that he’s never met/heard of until about five seconds ago…  Likely story…  Either way, Puck leaves Jake with some sound advice, saying that he never truly became a man until he joined glee club.

Brittany finds a loophole in the rules of Senior Class President and reinstates herself on the Cheerios and promises Coach Sue that she’ll bring her grades up, with the help of Will and Emma’s tutoring.

Brody drops by Rachel and Kurt’s place with flowers. He makes a move on her, but she says she can’t do anything because she’s an idiot and she’s still in love with Finn.

Next week’s Glee includes a shirtless Sam Evans.  So, if you’re into that sort of thing, be sure to tune in.  Or not.  The only reason I keep watching is so I can find out the endgame for Kurt and Blaine.

***

“I had my first threesome when I was seven, and once I beat up a police horse!” – NOAH FREAKIN’ PUCKERMAN!

NEW TO MY GLEECAPS?  Read the previous ones here!

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